Feast Your Eyes

Perfection. And there are more here.

I'm sure Michael Cray was a little upset about Shia's recent shenanigans, but once he saw him ready to shoot this "Transvestites 2" scene, all was forgiven.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go jerk it.

John Legend - DTF

I had high expectations when I heard there was a John Legend video that featured Andre 3000. Then when the video started I realized that it was for John's song "Green Light," which is about him being "reading to go right now" a.k.a. DTF. I'm not gonna lie, John kind of creeps me out in this vid since he's basically on the prowl the entire time. Andre, however, makes everything okay. He dances in the back most of the time, kind of like Jamie from the "Real World: San Diego." Remember that crazy asin biatch, just doin' her thang? Plus, can you see Andre's smile and not feel like you've fallen into a vat of [favorable substance of your choosing]?

Santogold "Lights Out"

Here's Santogold's new video for "Lights Out." The video is pretty awesome even though I felt some vom in my mouth at the end when I was reminded of Zach Braff a la "Garden State." That movie kind of blew, yaaaaa?



Wow. So Hipster Runoff totally made the same observation as me about this video. Does this mean I have to remove this post? Since I've previously linked that blog it obvi looks like I'm a copycat. What the fuck. Well, I guess that means that Santogold should think twice next time she blatantly rips of the side projects of actors from New Jersey who try to be cool/serious, but just ain't. Everybody noticed it, Santi!

The Royal Ronsons

Look at this hot photo shoot from Harper's Bazaar of the Ronson sibs as the Royal Tenenbaums. Sometimes I think about how fucking cool these sibs are and then I remember they are all in their thirties, which is kind of lamesies. Also, it's slightly lamesies that Mark actually used to wear those Chas Tenenbaums adidas warm-up suits like they weren't hilarious. Shit ain't right. Sam is almost outshining her twin, Charlotte, as Gwyneth, no? Luh dat biatch. Sam, I mean. Not Gwyneth who kind of is dead to me since she is still married to Chris Martin who becomes more and more pathetico every day.

Rant Alert

Okay, so fuck trying to be unapologetically mainstream. I can no longer pretend that I possess no cultural snobbery and am just down to rep my consumeristic tendencies to the fullest. Despite my previous blogs about only mainstream topics written with little/no sense of irony, I am in fact a pretentious asshole at heart. And sometimes when things I totally liked become super mainstream, I get a little pissed. Yes, yes, I know that I am little more than what Hipster Runoff would call an "entry level alt" but I can fucking pretend because I go to NYU and this is blog so it's not like you can tell the goddamn difference.

Anyway, the other day my bored ass was browsing bumper stickers ( - 10 scene points for having a Facebook app) and there was one that said "I LIKED M.I.A. BEFORE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS." Okay. What the fuck. For a moment I was like "What the fuck song is 'Pineapple Express'" and then I was like "Oh duh Judd Apatow movie...right. Def gotta see that shit." And my next thought was "It's okay to like those movies even though you usually hate comedies because they are like critcally acclaimed or whatever. Right?" And my next thought was "James Franco...fuckin' SEXXXXX."

But the next phase of my inner monologue was much less pleasant. "Hellooooo, dumb beezy, who made that wackass bumper sticker with MS Paint, I also liked M.I.A. before 'Pineapple Express.' And it was over three years before that stoner com came out and bros started knockin' to that song in their mid-sized SUVs." Plus I was mildly sick of that song by like Sept. '07. I saw that biatch for free at Central Park Summerstage like right after "Arular" came out and even then I was gettin' pissed that she was like in "Spin" magazine.

But like...it's cool because I totally don't care about that shit at all...errrr.


This is M.I.A. of '05. The one who dated Diplo and was not married to some random rich dude whose dad has some sort of music business connection. Did you know she once did not rep 6 inch roots? You didn't? Get out of my blog. Kidding. I will take any readership I can get.

Toyota Winglet WTF

Is a Segway not fucking ridiculous enough for you? Do you feel you need a personal transportation device that will make you look like a douchebag-with-too-much-money-on-your-way-to-Comic Con (a type normally found within the twenty something demographic)? Then look no further than Toyota's new "Winglet" for your ass-carting needs, lazy shit.



Wait, but really...I wouldn't be opposed to taking it out for a little spin.

Sick Video Alert

There is so many reasons to shoot a load from this Hype Williams directed video for the remix of N.E.R.D.'s "Everybody Nose"--Lupe and Kanye among them.

Prince Chunk

So, turns out that hot bitch Princess Chunk is actually a dude! Whatever, I understand the confusion because that thang ain't seen his thang in years. Nah mean?

The forty four pound cat, was found wandering the streets of Camden, NJ, where some dumbass apparently thought all cats had external genitalia and christened it Princess Chunk. For those of you who don't know, Camden is about the classiest place on earth besides...well...I wanted to compare it to somewhere really shitty, but Camden is usually the example I would use in such situations. No place can be compared to Camden. It just ain't fair.

Anyhow, feline obesity is something I've been trying to spread awareness about for a while and Princess Chunk is a great thing to exploit for my cause. I will begin now. Feline obesity awareness will be to me what Global Warming awareness is to Al Gore - a way to make people forget that I look like a penguin.

New Harry Potter Trailer

Yeah, so I didn't know that Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince would be scored by the same people who do the soundtrack for Unsolved Mysteries. I also didn't know the trailer would be edited by a 14 year old AV squad member using only iMovie. But that's cool I guess.

New Danity Kane Vid

At first I was relieved that "Damaged" would be replaced by a new single, since I'm getting sick of that shit, but once I saw the new Danity Kane vid, "Bad Girl" I was much less enthused. They sing, "When the red light comes on, I transform." I can only assume that this is a reference to prostitution, which confuses me because I can't imagine a transformation that could make Danity Kane look any more like a group of prozies. Then they would be the Pussycat Dolls. And the video fails to demonstrate much of a change, unless you count an increase in pleather and a bunch of wackass hand-me-down weaves from Destiny's Child a "transformation." Missy Elliot lends her flow to the song, but I still can't get into it.

Shia Arrested Again

Just when you thought he couldn't get any more badass, Shia LaBeouf has been charged with a misdemeanor DUI. Shia [sexily] made an illegal left hand turn and collided with another vehicle while wasted. Don't worry. Shi-guy is fine and his left hand is simply being treated for a minor injury and his passenger - some biatch - had some bumps and bruises. Unfortunately the driver of the other car also suffered minor injuries, but they should know to keep out of his mo'fuckin' way! Henry Jones Junior Junior is comin' through! And boy is he fucked up!

Pharrell Update, As Promised

Pharrell Williams is rumored to have impregnated an unidentified model. He is so private that little more about the situation has been revealed. However, they met this year and the preg beezy apparently travels with him at all times. She is also just about ready to burst. Wonder who dis be.

KEVIN JONAS A FAILURE

The Jonas Brothers are perfect. Except for one giant, flaming flaw--Kevin. (No, I do not consider Nick's jailbait status to be a flaw, but rather a difficult truth.) Watch this disgrace FALL OFF THE STAGE. He makes singer/tambourinist Joe look like a fucking badass. And considering the excessive manscaping they do to Joe's face, that's saying a lot.



Thanks, erbear.

Pharrell a Father?

Pharrell Williams is rumored to have knocked up some girl - unfortunately not me! More details to come.

New Tina Chen!

Watch out Heidi Montag! That hot bitch Tina Chen is back with a new jam and a bangin' new hair cut to steal your title as the most talented singer of all time. With some of her most beautiful vocals yet, Tina has created the greatest Jonas Brother's cover ever (beating even her own JoBro cover of "When You Look Me in the Eyes") in the form of an a cappella masterpiece. The sound quality is amazing and I love the minimalist approach. Did The Neptunes produce this guaranteed hit?

Listen here at her MySpace: myspace.com/tinaecmusic

Hate Crime Alert

Project Runway Season Four loser, Rami Kashou aka Rami Cashew got the shit kicked out of him in West Hollywood. Some one at the club The Abbey "hit that bitch with a bottle!" and he left in an ambulance covered in blood. Someone must have been really offended by his designs or his crappy 'tude (was it perhaps, Victoria Hung?). Or maybe it was because he's a huge gay.

Mike Lohan's Illegit Child

Yeah, bastard child, I bet you would love to meet your hot dyke sister and maybe even the one who has the aging disorder that inspired the movie Jack!

Pharrell, Julian, Santogold Converse Clip

Produced By Pharrell - Santogold, Julian Casablancas, N.E.R.D.


Here's the Converse commercial with Pharrell, Santogold, and Julian Casablancas. It features the song "Drive Thru," which is probably the best song on the new N.E.R.D album. The video is overall pretty sweet, except that Julian creeps me out because he looks like a really greasy lesbian with thick and luscious thighs. Just sayin'.

I Said Nooo Nooo No

Uh ohhhh. Do what you have to do MK, but please don't stop ACTING like a drug addled cray cray. And if possible, don't stop doing coke because you might gain weight and look less fabbity fab fab.

For the 5 of you who read this page...

Please excuse the poor appearance. I'm trying to develop a new layout, but I am lazy so this will take some time.

What do gay horses eat?

HAAAAAAAAAY.



No, this picture was not taken during the production of a Heath-less sequel to BBack Mountain, in which Jack Twist is found alive, living a new life as a gay equestrian (Hollywood, stay away from my ideas, unless compensation is involved). It's actually just a candid shot of Jake Gyllenhaal--a real life gay equestrian.

Sexy, Suave Democrats

Pharrell Yeah!

Here's a picture of Pharrell sweated to perfection, in case you were afraid you would never be able to become aroused again in a post-Verne Troyer sex tape world.

Hot Combo

Kanye and Marc Jacobs. Posted on his blog. Yeeeeeee.

Amy Possibly Not Wasted at Nelson Mandela Event

Amy Winehouse totally pulled through at the Nelson Mandela tribute! Except for the minor microphone snafu at the beginning, the bitch fuckin' ruled and was not (visibly) under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Remember this day, as a true miracle has ocurred!



Makin' me proud, Amy!

MK on Letterman

OMG I love this bitch. Look at Mary-Kate on David Letterman. Could she be any cooler/hotter? Making fun of Spencer Pratt certainly helped. My only suggstion is that she maybe should have blown a few more lines before she came on. She seemed a bit drowsy.

Nasty!

God on earth. Is Benji Madden trying to look like a penis? The newly shaved head is enough, but getting gripped by Paris Hilton makes him appear even more phallic.

Agyness Deyn and Al Hamm Jr.!

Supermodel Agyness Deyn is dating the fourth most attractive Stroke, Albert Hammond Jr.! Actually, I'm gonna bump him up to number three since Julian has been lookin' rough these days. My ninth grade self would kill me for saying that! The two were spotted in New York riding bikes together--a sure sign that they are getting it on. Also, the hipster scum were seen sucking face on the red carpet at the Songwriters Hall of Fame.

Michael Jackson Did NOT Rape Corey Feldman

Childstar turned Adultdouchebag, Corey Feldman revealed on his reality show, The Two Coreys, that he was raped at the age of 14. On the bromance centered show, Feldman yelled at Corey Haime for maintaining a friendship with the rapist even though he knew of the incident.

Obviously, everyone jumped the conclusion that Jacko had raped C.F., but Feldman told Page Six that it was not MJ...nor was it Sloth. Feldman said he was raped by his assistant and that he was still a virg when it happened! OUCH!

New Heidi Montag Single!

This is probably the best song I've heard since Aqua's "Barbie Girl." Love the part where she rattles off designers' names in a deaf person's voice. Ohhhhh...she's supposed to be speaking in a French accent? Could have sworn that was a deaf accent...Wait a second! Is Heidi not deaf? No excuse for this song then!

Hope the video is up to par with "Higher!" I'm not counting on it though as that Spencer Pratt directed clip with an estimated budget of $1.75 was a cinematic triumph.

Badassssssss

Shia got busted smoking again, and I don't just mean figuratively. I mean literally! The sexy, sexy man was busted smoking a cigarette in the bathroom of Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum because the pesky smoke detector went off. He was filming Transformers 2, so naturally, he was a little stressed out. It's hard work being that hot in real life, let alone for the camera! Luckily he wasn't actually arrested this time and just had to face a stern lecture from authorities. I guess the police in Wash, D.C. had bigger fish to fry.



Yum yum yum.

Meth Addiction Causes Dog-like Aging

According to scholarly resource Wikipedia, Fergie is 33. However, these pictures from the Cartier Love Charity Bracelet launch suggest that she is not a day over 65...and a half!

Taking Bromance to the Next Level

Oh My God

Cool tee, Jessica Simpson!



I bet she doesn't get it. Otherwise she would realize that this shirt is offensive to Ashlee who eats Peen Wentz vag all day long.

Chris Brown Rapping

You've probably heard the new remix to Lil Wayne's "A Milli," but you may not have noticed Chris Brown rapping on it!

Breezy comes in at around 1:06. What do you think? Surprisingly good or just awkward? I would offer my opinion, but I'm too blinded by his sexiness to give a fair assessment.

Michael Michael

I realized the other day when I was looking at a picture of Mike Huckabee and thought it was Michael Lohan, that it meant one of two things: I am a pop culture-centric ignoramus who doesn't care at all about politics OR that they actually just look the same after Mike H. lost all that weight. I'm gonna totally go with the latter.

Solange

Though I realize that Solange Knowles will never achieve any sort of success, I have to give her props for her new Neptunes produced song, "I Decided." It's not really all that shitty.



You know what would make this song better though? If Beyonce sang it.

Who dat be?

What happens when you combine Cisco Adler, Johnny Depp, Keith Richards, Justin Bobby, and then subtract anything hot from that equation? The result is EF UP. Ryan Cabrera's current look:

Sexiest AI Winner Ever

OK! Magazine has named David Cook the sexiest "American Idol" winner ever. FALSE.

They clearly forgot to consider my girl Fantasia Burrino.

I've Conjured up Some Promos

Here are some promo pics for the "Half Blood Prince!"


This is from the part in the film where Hermione urges Harry to leave so her and Ron can get down to business, and then Ron tells her, "well, er, really we were thinking maybe, if it was alright with you, we could run a train on you."


This is from the part in the film where Snape is a creeper. Okay, not sure which part exactly that is. Could come at any time.


Spread-eagle Ron.


Wah wah. Brood brood. Angst angst.

Hova Hooks it UP

The new Jay-Z song, "I Know" is sick as hell. I was really afraid that The Neptunes would never produce anything good again, but they proved me wrong! And of course there is (at least) one line in every Jay-Z song that makes you wonder how he could be so ill and in this song it's:
"And your heart no longer pledge allegiance to me/
Damn, I'm missing the days when you needed the D."

LOL.

But I'm sure you guys have heard the song, so here's the video. The clip stars Zoe Kravitz, daughter of Lenny and Denise Huxtable...er...Lisa Bonet.

"Flashing Lights" Take 3!

The Other Other Kanye West "Flashing Lights" video has been released! Kanye says this will be the last one.



Fuck the what?!

New Reality Show Lineup

OMDB (that's "Over My Dead Body") would I watch some of the reality shows out right now (for instance, "Denise Richards: It's Complicated"). I'm not hoping for anything amazing, but a program of at least "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" status would suffice. Luckily, networks are still pumping out new reality shows and have announced a number of new ones for the fall lineup. Here's a few of the most talked about series and my predictions of their success.


New York Goes to Hollywood
VH1 has answered my prayers with this spin-off that follows the ultimate diva New York as she tries to make it in Hollywood.
HIT: Some might be sick of New York, but I really can't think of a more hilarious scenario.

Bad Dads
FOX has ordered this show about deadbeat fathers who don't pay child support! The National Child Support Center will make these d-bags miserable until they are forced to help support their kids.
HIT: If this show features as many angry baby mommas as I think it will, then it will rule.

Black Gold
No, unfortunately this show does not have anything to do with bling, grills, or anything of that nature. It's actually about Matthew McConaughey's brother, Rooster McConaughey and his dirty job in the oil industry. This show will be on truTV...whatever that is.
HIT: Granted, this is the first time I've heard of the network it will be on, but let me just put it this way: Rooster's son is named Miller Lyte. This guy must be a cray! Totally should have gone with Natty Ice..

Untitled T.I. Project
This MTV show will follow the hunky MC for several months before he gets thrown in the slammer.
HIT: Though his relevance is dwindling, T.I. is hot so I have hope.

Untitled 50 Cent Project
MTV is also giving a show to this 'tard. The show is apparently be aimed at the helping the community, and the young adult who wins will receive a college scholarship (WTF, I know).
BOMB: Nah, I'm good!

Border Security USA
The ABC show will document--you guessed it--US border security. Perhaps some of “los emos” will be spotted trying to make their escape from the adversity they face across the border.
BOMB: Sounds fuckin' lame.

Radiohead Greatest Hits Album

Radiohead is releasing a "Best of" album on June 3, 2008! Just a few days away. It will be available both digitally and physically and will include album and live tracks. Wonder if they're gonna let me download it for $0.00 like you better believe I did with In Rainbows! Doubt it though.


Punch me in the face if the following songs are not on there:
"Fake Plastic Trees"
"Just"
"Creep"
"Karma Police"
"Paranoid Android"
"Pyramid Song"
"2+2=5"

Make that a cyber punch though because I could be totally wrong. Those Radioheads are tricky fellas and they did decide to call it "Best of: Radiohead," rather than "Greatest Hits." Does that make a difference?

It Depends(c)

I was under the impression that Amy Winehouse could pull anything off, but her latest look is pushing it. For what reason could she possibly be wearing an adult diaper? Then again, she's probably small enough to fit into actual baby diapers. In that case, I definitely would have gone with a patterned type. Click the pics to enlarge for further examination.

Hm....


Huh?!?!

Shia LaBeefcake

Okay. This is getting to be too much for me handle. Have mercy, Shia.


Ahem, reader. I did not give you permission to rub one out to my man.

Even More Lesbians

Seventh Heaven's Ruthie Camden a.k.a. Mackenzie Rosmond is no longer just the mysteriously black-looking child of an annoying reverend. Now at the age of 18 she is causing a stir with the appearance Miley Cyrus-esque photos of her sucking face with a girl.


Figurez. She's turning out just like her older sister Mary a.k.a. Jessica Beil. I believe this one is from a while ago, but it's still just as priceless.

Lindsay and Sam Forrealreal

Yay! Dirtbag father Michael Lohan has confirmed Lindsay and DJ Samantha Ronson's much speculated relationship! He recently told scholarly journal UsMagazine that their lez-ness "is evident to anyone with a half a brain."


Lindsay and Sam are def. my new fave couple! Love both of those classy bitches! However, Michael isn't quite as pleased about his daughter's new vagitarian lifestyle. He said, "there are some things a father just doesn't want to see or hear." This poor father must see/hear a lot of things that he doesn't want to. Wonder if he saw "Living Lohan." I know I sure as hell didn't.

Maya Lookin' Cool as Always

M.I.A. is on the cover of the new Baby Baby Baby magazine.


DIVA DIVA DIVA.

Tour de Lance

Brain, lung, and testicular cancer! The hearts of Sheryl Crow, Ashley Olsen, and now Kate Hudson! Is there anything that Lance Armstrong can't conquer?



BALLIN'!

Fresh Chode of Bel Air?

As you may have heard, Lil Bow Wow a.k.a. Shad Moss (Haha! I know, right?) has decided to retire as a rap artist! After "six successful albums," he is ready to become "the next Will Smith" and concentrate on acting, Bow Weezy told Hollywood Reporter. This is a travesty. The rap game will never be the same again. And who else will be willing to collaborate with Omarion?

It's funny that Bow Wow has expressed his desire to be the next Will since he accused the much more successful artist of being "bubble gum" a few years back, causing Will to own him in the face with box office statistics. What a clown!

Believe it or not Bow Wow has found work and is going to be in the fifth season of "Entourage" and sports drama "Patriots," which also stars Forest Whitaker (bad move, Forest) and homophobic hottie Isaiah Washington.



Roll Bounce 2 anyone? I am so down.

Only Got 4 Minutes for Tina Chen

For those of you who need to catch up on Tina Chen real fast, here's a video created by a fan, which basically presents the essence of Tina through a brilliant "montage of her classics."



"Miracle of modern science / Christian pop star / public flasher Tina Chen covers Britney Spears' 'Gimme More' with FANTASTIC RESULTS..."
-Youtube User toodope4words

And I believe I have located her Youtube user page finally: youtube.com/user/tinaecmusic!

Youtube Inspired Weezer Video Now on Youtube

Things that are cool about the video for the new Weezer song, "Pork and Beans":

1. Kevin Federline cameo

2. Tay Zonday cameo

3. Let's get some shoes!

4. It's not "Beverly Hills"



Still kind of sucks though, right? If I need a summary of all the online videos that I've wasted my time watching, I'd rather watch the Internet People! I think that song is actually better anyway.

Note the absence of the Chongalicious video in both of these clips!

Superstar Charice Pempengco

I never thought I'd say that I wanted to be a kid from the Philippines, but OH MY GOD, ever since my friend Nick told me about this girl who sang on Ellen a few months back, I have a new idol. This little fifteen year-old, Charice Pempengco, belts it out to my favorite Whitney song, "I Will Always Love You." Yes, I do know it's a Dolly Parton cover and yes, I did consider "The Greatest Love of All."

Angry Mexicans Lend a Hand to Suicidal Teens

Speaking of fourteen year olds...

Fans of emo music in Mexico have been the victims of violent attacks recently. While those of us in America thought we no longer had to worry about anything related to the dying fad, Mexican punks, metalheads, and yes, even our beloved CHOLOS, have been acting out against those in the emo scene (which is apparently still on and poppin' down there).

In all seriousness, though, it's pretty fucked up and I feel bad for these kids. All Mexican emos should come to America, where emos can live happily and marry Ashlee Simpson! I mean, it's not like we have any immigration issues...

Here's a video of an anti-emo riot (featuring no-so-clever subtitles)!



Click here to witness Time magazine using the word "cholo" with absolutely no sense of irony!

Kurt Cobain Rolls Over in Grave

These Kurt Cobain edition Converse may make Courtney Love feel more financially secure, but they just make me feel really uncomfortable...

I suppose these with the lameass insole aren't too bad.



But these ones are just plain fugly!



Who wants to wear shoes with print from Kurt Cobain's journals all over them? Oh, right. All those ninth graders who hang outside of the arcade at the mall.

Duffy is Fucking Awesome

It would be easy to describe Duffy as Amy Winehouse sans the drug addictions. After all, she's also British (like basically every other female buzz artist these days), and she does have the same retro shtick, but she's actually pretty different from Amy...and she might actually have some drug addictions that I don't know about.

Since it doesn't seem like my girl Wino will be fit to make new music anytime soon (even her hotass producer Mark Ronson said so), I realized it was time to find another faux-sixties singer to hold me over. Needless to say, Duffy is less soulful than Wino (who isn't?), but her take on 60's pop is still awesome.

Here's the most upbeat track on her debut album Rockferry, "Mercy."

Shia On Cover of GQ

Shia LaBeouf is gracing the cover of GQ this month, making it more difficult for me to avoid getting a public boner on the grocery store check-out line.



Could he be any more damn fine? I suppose if he wasn't next to Harrison Ford in Indy 4 (which ruled, by the way). Or maybe he'd be hotter if he got arrested just one more time...

Tina Chen--Is She Forreal?

Despite her appearances on Perez Hilton, Christian cover-artist Kristina Chen, is not as well known as I would like her to be. I'm sick of bringing her up to my friends, who have no idea who she is, because then I have to explain that she performs covers of Jonas Brother's songs and that she may or may not be retarded. It draws attention to, not only the fact that I love the Jonas Brothers, but that I feel comfortable laughing at the videos of someone who likely suffers from mental disabilities. But before you judge me, watch some of her videos and judge her! Is she actually mentally challenged or is she just a total genius?

Here's a video of her performing BSB's "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" at the request of her fans.



Yeah, you laughed. Don't even PLAY.

Unfortunately, word is that Tina has stopped making new videos, but there are still plenty on YouTube (THANK GOD). Also, you can still check out her gem of a MySpace (myspace.com/tinaecmusic).

Kanye West "Flashing Lights" Take 2

Upon realizing that I love Kanye for his music and good taste, just as much (okay, almost as much) as I love him for his constant douchebaggery, I've been a huge fan these days. Part of this newfound love stemmed from his sweetass, Spike Jonze directed clip for "Flashing Lights."

Then Yeezy went and made a whole new video for the song, which also rules. It's about a young hottie whose once promising life is on a downward spiral due to her excessive partying a la Lindsay Lohan. But, I mean, let me know if I'm taking this video too seriously by assigning it a moral lesson.

Here's the vid.



And here's the orignal video, in which Kanye gets brutally beaten by an impossibly thick and luscious video honey.