Feast Your Eyes

Perfection. And there are more here.

I'm sure Michael Cray was a little upset about Shia's recent shenanigans, but once he saw him ready to shoot this "Transvestites 2" scene, all was forgiven.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go jerk it.

John Legend - DTF

I had high expectations when I heard there was a John Legend video that featured Andre 3000. Then when the video started I realized that it was for John's song "Green Light," which is about him being "reading to go right now" a.k.a. DTF. I'm not gonna lie, John kind of creeps me out in this vid since he's basically on the prowl the entire time. Andre, however, makes everything okay. He dances in the back most of the time, kind of like Jamie from the "Real World: San Diego." Remember that crazy asin biatch, just doin' her thang? Plus, can you see Andre's smile and not feel like you've fallen into a vat of [favorable substance of your choosing]?

Santogold "Lights Out"

Here's Santogold's new video for "Lights Out." The video is pretty awesome even though I felt some vom in my mouth at the end when I was reminded of Zach Braff a la "Garden State." That movie kind of blew, yaaaaa?



Wow. So Hipster Runoff totally made the same observation as me about this video. Does this mean I have to remove this post? Since I've previously linked that blog it obvi looks like I'm a copycat. What the fuck. Well, I guess that means that Santogold should think twice next time she blatantly rips of the side projects of actors from New Jersey who try to be cool/serious, but just ain't. Everybody noticed it, Santi!

The Royal Ronsons

Look at this hot photo shoot from Harper's Bazaar of the Ronson sibs as the Royal Tenenbaums. Sometimes I think about how fucking cool these sibs are and then I remember they are all in their thirties, which is kind of lamesies. Also, it's slightly lamesies that Mark actually used to wear those Chas Tenenbaums adidas warm-up suits like they weren't hilarious. Shit ain't right. Sam is almost outshining her twin, Charlotte, as Gwyneth, no? Luh dat biatch. Sam, I mean. Not Gwyneth who kind of is dead to me since she is still married to Chris Martin who becomes more and more pathetico every day.

Rant Alert

Okay, so fuck trying to be unapologetically mainstream. I can no longer pretend that I possess no cultural snobbery and am just down to rep my consumeristic tendencies to the fullest. Despite my previous blogs about only mainstream topics written with little/no sense of irony, I am in fact a pretentious asshole at heart. And sometimes when things I totally liked become super mainstream, I get a little pissed. Yes, yes, I know that I am little more than what Hipster Runoff would call an "entry level alt" but I can fucking pretend because I go to NYU and this is blog so it's not like you can tell the goddamn difference.

Anyway, the other day my bored ass was browsing bumper stickers ( - 10 scene points for having a Facebook app) and there was one that said "I LIKED M.I.A. BEFORE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS." Okay. What the fuck. For a moment I was like "What the fuck song is 'Pineapple Express'" and then I was like "Oh duh Judd Apatow movie...right. Def gotta see that shit." And my next thought was "It's okay to like those movies even though you usually hate comedies because they are like critcally acclaimed or whatever. Right?" And my next thought was "James Franco...fuckin' SEXXXXX."

But the next phase of my inner monologue was much less pleasant. "Hellooooo, dumb beezy, who made that wackass bumper sticker with MS Paint, I also liked M.I.A. before 'Pineapple Express.' And it was over three years before that stoner com came out and bros started knockin' to that song in their mid-sized SUVs." Plus I was mildly sick of that song by like Sept. '07. I saw that biatch for free at Central Park Summerstage like right after "Arular" came out and even then I was gettin' pissed that she was like in "Spin" magazine.

But like...it's cool because I totally don't care about that shit at all...errrr.


This is M.I.A. of '05. The one who dated Diplo and was not married to some random rich dude whose dad has some sort of music business connection. Did you know she once did not rep 6 inch roots? You didn't? Get out of my blog. Kidding. I will take any readership I can get.

Toyota Winglet WTF

Is a Segway not fucking ridiculous enough for you? Do you feel you need a personal transportation device that will make you look like a douchebag-with-too-much-money-on-your-way-to-Comic Con (a type normally found within the twenty something demographic)? Then look no further than Toyota's new "Winglet" for your ass-carting needs, lazy shit.



Wait, but really...I wouldn't be opposed to taking it out for a little spin.

Sick Video Alert

There is so many reasons to shoot a load from this Hype Williams directed video for the remix of N.E.R.D.'s "Everybody Nose"--Lupe and Kanye among them.

Prince Chunk

So, turns out that hot bitch Princess Chunk is actually a dude! Whatever, I understand the confusion because that thang ain't seen his thang in years. Nah mean?

The forty four pound cat, was found wandering the streets of Camden, NJ, where some dumbass apparently thought all cats had external genitalia and christened it Princess Chunk. For those of you who don't know, Camden is about the classiest place on earth besides...well...I wanted to compare it to somewhere really shitty, but Camden is usually the example I would use in such situations. No place can be compared to Camden. It just ain't fair.

Anyhow, feline obesity is something I've been trying to spread awareness about for a while and Princess Chunk is a great thing to exploit for my cause. I will begin now. Feline obesity awareness will be to me what Global Warming awareness is to Al Gore - a way to make people forget that I look like a penguin.

New Harry Potter Trailer

Yeah, so I didn't know that Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince would be scored by the same people who do the soundtrack for Unsolved Mysteries. I also didn't know the trailer would be edited by a 14 year old AV squad member using only iMovie. But that's cool I guess.

New Danity Kane Vid

At first I was relieved that "Damaged" would be replaced by a new single, since I'm getting sick of that shit, but once I saw the new Danity Kane vid, "Bad Girl" I was much less enthused. They sing, "When the red light comes on, I transform." I can only assume that this is a reference to prostitution, which confuses me because I can't imagine a transformation that could make Danity Kane look any more like a group of prozies. Then they would be the Pussycat Dolls. And the video fails to demonstrate much of a change, unless you count an increase in pleather and a bunch of wackass hand-me-down weaves from Destiny's Child a "transformation." Missy Elliot lends her flow to the song, but I still can't get into it.

Shia Arrested Again

Just when you thought he couldn't get any more badass, Shia LaBeouf has been charged with a misdemeanor DUI. Shia [sexily] made an illegal left hand turn and collided with another vehicle while wasted. Don't worry. Shi-guy is fine and his left hand is simply being treated for a minor injury and his passenger - some biatch - had some bumps and bruises. Unfortunately the driver of the other car also suffered minor injuries, but they should know to keep out of his mo'fuckin' way! Henry Jones Junior Junior is comin' through! And boy is he fucked up!

Pharrell Update, As Promised

Pharrell Williams is rumored to have impregnated an unidentified model. He is so private that little more about the situation has been revealed. However, they met this year and the preg beezy apparently travels with him at all times. She is also just about ready to burst. Wonder who dis be.

KEVIN JONAS A FAILURE

The Jonas Brothers are perfect. Except for one giant, flaming flaw--Kevin. (No, I do not consider Nick's jailbait status to be a flaw, but rather a difficult truth.) Watch this disgrace FALL OFF THE STAGE. He makes singer/tambourinist Joe look like a fucking badass. And considering the excessive manscaping they do to Joe's face, that's saying a lot.



Thanks, erbear.

Pharrell a Father?

Pharrell Williams is rumored to have knocked up some girl - unfortunately not me! More details to come.

New Tina Chen!

Watch out Heidi Montag! That hot bitch Tina Chen is back with a new jam and a bangin' new hair cut to steal your title as the most talented singer of all time. With some of her most beautiful vocals yet, Tina has created the greatest Jonas Brother's cover ever (beating even her own JoBro cover of "When You Look Me in the Eyes") in the form of an a cappella masterpiece. The sound quality is amazing and I love the minimalist approach. Did The Neptunes produce this guaranteed hit?

Listen here at her MySpace: myspace.com/tinaecmusic

Hate Crime Alert

Project Runway Season Four loser, Rami Kashou aka Rami Cashew got the shit kicked out of him in West Hollywood. Some one at the club The Abbey "hit that bitch with a bottle!" and he left in an ambulance covered in blood. Someone must have been really offended by his designs or his crappy 'tude (was it perhaps, Victoria Hung?). Or maybe it was because he's a huge gay.

Mike Lohan's Illegit Child

Yeah, bastard child, I bet you would love to meet your hot dyke sister and maybe even the one who has the aging disorder that inspired the movie Jack!

Pharrell, Julian, Santogold Converse Clip

Produced By Pharrell - Santogold, Julian Casablancas, N.E.R.D.


Here's the Converse commercial with Pharrell, Santogold, and Julian Casablancas. It features the song "Drive Thru," which is probably the best song on the new N.E.R.D album. The video is overall pretty sweet, except that Julian creeps me out because he looks like a really greasy lesbian with thick and luscious thighs. Just sayin'.

I Said Nooo Nooo No

Uh ohhhh. Do what you have to do MK, but please don't stop ACTING like a drug addled cray cray. And if possible, don't stop doing coke because you might gain weight and look less fabbity fab fab.

For the 5 of you who read this page...

Please excuse the poor appearance. I'm trying to develop a new layout, but I am lazy so this will take some time.