Prince Chunk

So, turns out that hot bitch Princess Chunk is actually a dude! Whatever, I understand the confusion because that thang ain't seen his thang in years. Nah mean?

The forty four pound cat, was found wandering the streets of Camden, NJ, where some dumbass apparently thought all cats had external genitalia and christened it Princess Chunk. For those of you who don't know, Camden is about the classiest place on earth besides...well...I wanted to compare it to somewhere really shitty, but Camden is usually the example I would use in such situations. No place can be compared to Camden. It just ain't fair.

Anyhow, feline obesity is something I've been trying to spread awareness about for a while and Princess Chunk is a great thing to exploit for my cause. I will begin now. Feline obesity awareness will be to me what Global Warming awareness is to Al Gore - a way to make people forget that I look like a penguin.

New Harry Potter Trailer

Yeah, so I didn't know that Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince would be scored by the same people who do the soundtrack for Unsolved Mysteries. I also didn't know the trailer would be edited by a 14 year old AV squad member using only iMovie. But that's cool I guess.

New Danity Kane Vid

At first I was relieved that "Damaged" would be replaced by a new single, since I'm getting sick of that shit, but once I saw the new Danity Kane vid, "Bad Girl" I was much less enthused. They sing, "When the red light comes on, I transform." I can only assume that this is a reference to prostitution, which confuses me because I can't imagine a transformation that could make Danity Kane look any more like a group of prozies. Then they would be the Pussycat Dolls. And the video fails to demonstrate much of a change, unless you count an increase in pleather and a bunch of wackass hand-me-down weaves from Destiny's Child a "transformation." Missy Elliot lends her flow to the song, but I still can't get into it.

Shia Arrested Again

Just when you thought he couldn't get any more badass, Shia LaBeouf has been charged with a misdemeanor DUI. Shia [sexily] made an illegal left hand turn and collided with another vehicle while wasted. Don't worry. Shi-guy is fine and his left hand is simply being treated for a minor injury and his passenger - some biatch - had some bumps and bruises. Unfortunately the driver of the other car also suffered minor injuries, but they should know to keep out of his mo'fuckin' way! Henry Jones Junior Junior is comin' through! And boy is he fucked up!

Pharrell Update, As Promised

Pharrell Williams is rumored to have impregnated an unidentified model. He is so private that little more about the situation has been revealed. However, they met this year and the preg beezy apparently travels with him at all times. She is also just about ready to burst. Wonder who dis be.

KEVIN JONAS A FAILURE

The Jonas Brothers are perfect. Except for one giant, flaming flaw--Kevin. (No, I do not consider Nick's jailbait status to be a flaw, but rather a difficult truth.) Watch this disgrace FALL OFF THE STAGE. He makes singer/tambourinist Joe look like a fucking badass. And considering the excessive manscaping they do to Joe's face, that's saying a lot.



Thanks, erbear.

Pharrell a Father?

Pharrell Williams is rumored to have knocked up some girl - unfortunately not me! More details to come.